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Our friends for over two decades, a person who's faced and conquered several hardships, her resilience is commendable. But, she has been constantly caught off guard by people. Her partner walked away, which came as a massive blow. Many of her social circle disappeared then, because they seemed focused solely on her husband. It shocked her deeply. She put in increased attention toward our bond, probably realised more acutely what friendship was.

The Pattern With Friends Drifting Away

Throughout this period, many in her circle have disappeared leaving her certain of the reason. Her last employer became hostile, even though she was an excellent employee, her exit happened unaware of the reason for the change.

Present Situation

In recent times, we've both stepped back from work and are seeing each other more, but I am finding my role in the relationship feels one-sided. I introduce subjects but she shifts them to her own topics. Politically, she expresses strong opinions. I attempt to suggest verifying facts or other angles.

She has been planning a trip to a country I've visited many times and lived in for some time. My intention was to provide advice, but this was not welcomed. She essentially only wanted my agreement with her plans. I've just ended four weeks there she is eager to meet, however, I hesitate.

Considering the Choices

I don't want to be a friend that walks away abruptly, yet I doubt she'll truly understand the effect of her behaviour on how I feel about myself. Currently, I find myself in distancing myself. What should I do?

Possible Paths

One option is to cut and run, yet this is seldom a smooth outcome we imagine. But confrontation aiming for resolution takes courage and openness on both your parts.

Professional advice indicates applying a effective method for resolving disputes:

"The first step requires explaining the usual pattern during your discussions. Aim for this to be based on facts and essentially an unbiased account. Step two is to express her how it makes you feel. There should be no dispute on this point. What you feel belong to you, naturally. Step three is to ask ways you together going to change the pattern in your relationship."

Keep in mind that she also has her own side, meaning you must to stay open to listen to her. An approach that works is telling your friend:

"Please share your thoughts and I promise to listen without interrupting for half an hour."

This can be impactful for promoting mutual respect.

Key Takeaways

This person may dismiss everything, for those who hold onto a self-protecting mindset: they rely on a version of their life they won't let go of since their identity depends upon it and it represents they trust. This is difficult when there seems no thoroughfare here, only cul-de-sacs. But she may start out like this and then think on your words. And even if you never reach a fix, it will give you peace knowing you were open and direct.